The Top 100 Blackadder Quotes

Character	Series/Episode	Published
[x]	[x]	[x]
All Arthur Baldrick Blackadder Cook Dr Leech George Hanna Hardwood Interpreter Johnson Lord Flashheart Ludwig Melchett Mollie Nursie Percy Pitt the Even Younger Queen Red Baron Richard III Rum Topper -empty-	All 1.1 The Foretelling 1.2 Born To Be King 1.3 The Archbishop 1.4 The Queen of Spain's Beard 1.5 Witchsmeller Pursuivant 1.6 The Black Seal 2.1 Bells 2.2 Head 2.3 Potato 2.4 Money 2.5 Beer 2.6 Chains 3.1 Dish & Dishonesty 3.2 Ink & Incapability 3.3 Nob & Nobility 3.4 Sense & Senility 3.5 Amy & Amiability 3.6 Duel & Duality 4.1 Captain Cook 4.2 Corporal Punishment 4.3 Major Star 4.4 Private Plane 4.5 General Hospital 4.6 Goodbyeee -empty-	All 09/04/2010 27/03/2010 14/03/2010 13/03/2010 26/02/2010 25/02/2010 22/02/2010 11/02/2010 10/02/2010 09/02/2010 03/02/2010 08/06/2009 16/04/2009 15/04/2009 From: To:

Facts

Item: Not to worry, my Lord. The arrow didn't in fact, ...


	"Not to worry, my Lord. The arrow didn't in fact, enter my body. No. By a thousand to one chance, my willy got in the way."

Character Baldrick

Series/Episode 2.1 Bells

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Position rank in parent list:

Highest achieved rank:

#1 | 19/06/2010 18:02:01

Lowest achieved rank:

#42 | 25/02/2010 19:38:48

Current stances:

Votes:

Today: 0 | All time: 7

Ratings:

Today: 0 | All time: 4

Reviews:

Today: 0 | All time: 1

Creator:

Winston

Date of Creation:

25/02/2010 19:38:48

Editors:

Alias	Version	Date
	1	19:38:48 \| 25 Feb 2010

Item locked:

False

Ratings

Overall rating:

	Everyone	My Rating
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Overall Rating:

Reviews

Total: 1 Latest: 19/06/2010 18:02:00 by Daddy Papersurfer

reviewed by Daddy Papersurfer
18:02:00 | 19 Jun 2010

I'd forgotten ....

.... that one ...... oh dear I laughed again ..... and you know what happens when people my age laugh .........


	Recent comments in The Top 100 Blackadder Quotes You have a woman's bottom, my lady. I'll wager that sweet round pair of peaches has never been forced twixt two splintered planks to plug a leak and save a ship. Were you on a pedalo? :-) Mr. Smiley 18:39:53 \| 20 Dec 2011 You have a woman's bottom, my lady. I'll wager that sweet round pair of peaches has never been forced twixt two splintered planks to plug a leak and save a ship. .... my feet were chilly though .... Daddy Papersurfer 18:24:09 \| 20 Dec 2011 You have a woman's bottom, my lady. I'll wager that sweet round pair of peaches has never been forced twixt two splintered planks to plug a leak and save a ship. Eventually we managed to limp into Falmouth - all hands survived. Daddy Papersurfer 18:23:40 \| 20 Dec 2011 You have a woman's bottom, my lady. I'll wager that sweet round pair of peaches has never been forced twixt two splintered planks to plug a leak and save a ship. Did it go down well...? (so to speak) DJ 18:17:11 \| 20 Dec 2011 You have a woman's bottom, my lady. I'll wager that sweet round pair of peaches has never been forced twixt two splintered planks to plug a leak and save a ship. .... it's a long story .... Daddy Papersurfer 16:39:03 \| 20 Dec 2011 You have a woman's bottom, my lady. I'll wager that sweet round pair of peaches has never been forced twixt two splintered planks to plug a leak and save a ship. I said this exact same thing to the TG in the Bay of Biscay. Daddy Papersurfer 16:38:41 \| 20 Dec 2011 Now I've got my lovely fire I'm happy as a Frenchman who's invented a pair of self-removing trousers. Classic line.. only no. 12?? DJ 08:00:06 \| 13 Jul 2011 Everything goes over your head, doesn't it, George? You should go to Jamaica and become a limbo dancer. Brilliant! :-) DJ 05:44:58 \| 23 May 2011 Everything goes over your head, doesn't it, George? You should go to Jamaica and become a limbo dancer. Love that comment...:-)) Sparkly Aph 07:39:08 \| 9 Apr 2011 Now all we have to do, my lord, is to go down to the cock fights and put it on a bird that is a dead cert, but has got odds of 40,000 to 1. I love this episode......makes me want to watch a few tonight....great fun Sparkly Aph 19:04:17 \| 9 Feb 2011 Now all we have to do, my lord, is to go down to the cock fights and put it on a bird that is a dead cert, but has got odds of 40,000 to 1. Know you of such a bird?! DJ 14:16:46 \| 9 Feb 2011 Now I've got my lovely fire I'm happy as a Frenchman who's invented a pair of self-removing trousers. I think she may be French >x^p Spiny Norman 08:41:00 \| 7 Nov 2010 Now I've got my lovely fire I'm happy as a Frenchman who's invented a pair of self-removing trousers. So you have self-removing trousers?!? Sparkly Aph 08:27:18 \| 7 Nov 2010 Now I've got my lovely fire I'm happy as a Frenchman who's invented a pair of self-removing trousers. I can relate to that! Archerlady 23:02:25 \| 6 Nov 2010 Review of As a special reward, Baldrick, take a short holiday. Did you enjoy it? Right. Ideal for use in the workplace... used it many times :-) DJ 09:06:52 \| 23 Sep 2010 The girl is wetter than a haddock's bathing costume. ..... and now you've made me read it again...... stoppit!!!! Daddy Papersurfer 08:55:33 \| 22 Sep 2010 The girl is wetter than a haddock's bathing costume. Try and control yourself, DP. We don't want to have to call the fire brigade again...! >:^p Spiny Norman 08:23:04 \| 22 Sep 2010 Something is always wrong, Balders. The fact that I am not a millionaire aristocrat with the sexual capacity of a rutting rhino is a constant niggle. Well, at least you're half way there, DP.. tee hee >x^p Spiny Norman 08:20:35 \| 22 Sep 2010 Something is always wrong, Balders. The fact that I am not a millionaire aristocrat with the sexual capacity of a rutting rhino is a constant niggle. Welcome to my world ....... sigh Daddy Papersurfer 17:58:42 \| 21 Sep 2010 The girl is wetter than a haddock's bathing costume. Oh dear ....... I'm giggling again ..... Daddy Papersurfer 17:57:26 \| 21 Sep 2010 Review of Not to worry, my Lord. The arrow didn't in fact, enter my body. No. By a thousand to one chance, my willy got in the way. No ...... they leak ...... tee hee pee Daddy Papersurfer 18:36:25 \| 19 Jun 2010 Review of Not to worry, my Lord. The arrow didn't in fact, enter my body. No. By a thousand to one chance, my willy got in the way. Do things fall off? Spiny Norman 18:30:02 \| 19 Jun 2010

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comments on Not to worry, my Lord. The arrow didn't in fact, enter my body. No. By a thousand to one chance, my willy got in the way.

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Reviews

comments on I'd forgotten ....

Recent comments in The Top 100 Blackadder Quotes


	Not to worry, my Lord. The arrow didn't in fact, enter my body. No. By a thousand to one chance, my willy got in the way.


	Something is always wrong, Balders. The fact that I am not a millionaire aristocrat with the sexual capacity of a rutting rhino is a constant niggle.


	You have a woman's bottom, my lady. I'll wager that sweet round pair of peaches has never been forced twixt two splintered planks to plug a leak and save a ship.


	I smell something fishy and I'm not talking about the contents of Baldrick's apple crumble.


	Everything goes over your head, doesn't it, George? You should go to Jamaica and become a limbo dancer.


	As a special reward, Baldrick, take a short holiday. Did you enjoy it? Right.


	Oh, God, God, God! What on earth was I drinking last night? My head feels like there's a Frenchman living in it.


	We're in the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun.


	The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the devil's own satanic herd.


	Oh, no, just a wild stab in the dark, which is incidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful.


	Stop displaying tips


	Tish and pish, gadzooks, milarky. How dare you say such a thing! Demme, sir, if you're not the worst kind of swine!


	There isn't one. My father blew it all on wine, women and amateur dramatics. At the end he was eking out a living doing humourous impressions of Anne of Cleves


	Now I've got my lovely fire I'm happy as a Frenchman who's invented a pair of self-removing trousers.


	I'm as poor as a church mouse that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.


	We live in an age where illness and deformity are commonplace and yet, Ploppy, you are without a doubt the most repulsive individual I have ever met.


	Seen it, pinched it, spent it. And the same goes for the two farthings Baldrick thinks he's got hidden inside that mouldy potato.


	Believe me, eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish instruments of death will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me and this pencil if we can't replace this dictionary.


	Now all we have to do, my lord, is to go down to the cock fights and put it on a bird that is a dead cert, but has got odds of 40,000 to 1.


	Weird. I always feel more comfy in a dress! I've got a plan, and it's as hot as my pants!


	I'm sure we all remember the shame and embarrassment of the visit of the King of Austria when Blackadder was found wandering naked in the halls of Hampton Court singing 'I'm Merlin, the Happy Pig.'


	Good, because I wish to quickly send off some party invitations, and to make them look particularly tough, I wish to write them in blood. Your blood to be precise.


	No. A copy, sir, is like fitting wheels to a tomato - time-consuming and completely unnecessary.


	Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you into long strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat!


	If you weren't quite so big, it would be time for Mr and Mrs Spank to pay a short sharp trip to Bottieland.


	How could I have been so stupid? Goodbye Millionaire's Row, hullo Room 12 of the Budleigh Salterton Twilight Rest Home for the Terminally Short of Cash.


	...they may go round saying, 'Look, there's thick George, he's got the brain the size of a weasel's wedding tackle.'


	How lucky you English are to find the toilet so amusing. For us, it is a mundane and functional item. For you it is the basis of an entire culture.


	This place stinks like a pair of armoured trousers after the Hundred Years War. Baldrick, have you been eating dung again?


	A war hasn't been fought this badly since Olaf the Hairy, High Chief of all the Vikings, accidentally ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside.


	Yes, that's right. A lovely, lovely cow with great big lovely udders, swinging around going 'Mooo, come to Nursie-cow, you lovely little heifers!' Oh, yes, what fun, I want to be a cow again, please!